Riptide

Why is it that old guys who know everything always have to be wearing a fawn coloured raincoat?

“It’s because it’s smart, functional and I like the pockets,” he replied.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise you were telepathic as well.”

“Well I’m not but I get that look all the time and I guess I play the rule of averages and that’s pretty much what I reckon on what you folks are thinking.”

“Oh right. So what’s the deal here?  I mean why am I here?”

“Well I guess it’s because you’ve done something.”

“You guess?  I thought you knew everything?”

“Well I s’pose during a lifetime you get to know things.  Trouble is no one wants to ask us old timers.”

“So I’m here because I want to ask you something?”

“I guess so.”

“Hmmm.  There’s that doubt again.  What if I’m not entirely sure what it is I want to know?”

“That’s just fine, son.  You can ask me anytime you feel ready.”

“Right.  But what if I’m not ready for another day or week even?”

“Suits me, I’m not going anywhere soon.  Least not until the winter breaks.”

“What if I’m never ready?”

“Oh sure that happens from time to time.  Nothing I can do to change that.  We just kinda accept that.  It’s part of the job.”

“Are you for real?  So let me get this straight.  I’ve done something.  I don’t know what it is and I need to ask you something but I don’t know what that is either.”

“Seems to be, yes.”

“And you’re not going to help me, are you?”

“Sure I’ll help.  Didn’t I say earlier that no one ever bothers to ask?”

“So you’re here to help me but I’m not even sure what I need help with.  You’ll know the answer to a question I’ve somehow got inside me but I just need to find a way to get at the question.”

“Yep that’s pretty much it in a nutshell.”

“You going to give me any clues, mister, or am I just going to have to figure this one out for myself?”

He looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, right, you’re going to help me but you’re not going to help me.  All I’ve got to do is know what help I need.”

He nods.

I’ve suddenly had a thought.

“Yes it’s probably got something to do with where you’re standing.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t read my mind.”

“I can’t.  I took a guess.  Nothing wrong with taking a guess as I see it and you did take a good look around.”

“Right.”  But that’s a million miles away from how I’m feeling.

“Don’t worry I can see you’re going to be one of the faster ones.”

“Sorry, would you mind just humouring me and saying that again?”

“You heard me.  Don’t make me change my mind on that opinion.”

“Or else what?”

“Or else nothing, kid, calm down.  You came to me, remember?”

“Er, actually no I don’t remember doing that at all.  I was just admiring the view and all of a sudden you’re there with your coat and knowing look.  This is beginning to give me the creeps.”

“Well I guess you just have to give it a little time and by the way, I’ve got time.  About the only thing I’ve got, apart from my raincoat as you so kindly point out, is some time.  Anyway I best get going before the next squall comes in.  So long!”

He walks off hands in his pockets bent to the wind.  I watch him until he’s gone behind some rocks on the coast path.

This has got to be the craziest thing I’ve ever seen, done, experienced.  Did it really happen?  Maybe I dreamt it.  I take one last long look out at the breakers, turn and trudge back to the camper.

“Where the hell have you been?  You said you’d be five minutes.”

“You’ll never guess.”

“Go on try me.”

“Okay so I’m standing by the edge looking at the surf and then this guy’s standing next to me wearing a mac and saying all sorts of weird stuff about being there for when I know what to ask him.”

“You sure you haven’t had a smoke?”

“No I’m serious.  Totally freaked me out.  Must be some kind of lonely nut out for a wander with his dog except I don’t remember seeing any sign of one.”

“Hmm a likely story.  You sure you weren’t chatting someone up?”

“Aw come off it, Deb, I’ve only got eyes for you, right?  Come here!”  I give her a hug and take a deep breath inhaling her intoxicating smell.  “Let’s go and have a cuppa, my treat.”

The kettle’s still warm from filling the hot water bottles.  I top it up and light the flare, reach for the tea bags, rinse the mugs and lean over to grab the spoon I left on the dashboard.

“So there really was a guy out there?”

“Yep.”

“And he said you had a question for him?”

“Uh hunh.”

“But you didn’t have a question for him?”

“You’re catching on fast.  I just don’t get the bit about him saying I came to him.  I mean sure he was already standing at the point when I got there but I was going there anyway, not just to see him.”

“What so you were going to see him?”

“No, I mean I just wanted to see the surf from the point and he was just there.  Just like it could have been anyone else there.”

“How’s the surf?”

“Not today.  Big swell.  Squalls.  There’s nobody out there today.  Not even Max with a hangover.  Talk of the devil.”

“Morning lovebirds!  Remind me never to have a flaming Sambuca ever again.  Jeez that music.  It was seriously pumped.  I can’t get the ringing out of my ears.”

“Tinnitis.”

“Yeah whatever, spare a cup for your old mucker, Max?”

“No.  Last tea bags are in the cup.  Go away, Max.”

“Now that’s friendship in action.  I save your ass after a wipeout yesterday and how do you repay me?  What’s a little sharing between mates?”

“He’s just had a ‘weird experience’ at the point.”  She does this with finger quotation marks.

“Weird experience, eh?  He is a weird experience.  Thinks he’s either a dolphin or a merman most of the time and I caught him surfing the internet checking out chicks with webbed feet.  Gross out, man!”

“With friends like you two who needs enemies?”

The kettle’s boiled.  I rinse a third cup then reach for another tea bag inside the cupboard.

“I can’t believe you lied about the teabags you toe rag!  That’s bad karma, mate.  No glory sets for you out there today, son.”

Which took me back to the man on the point.  I leapt out of the door and started running back to the point.

“What the…where’s he off to in a hurry?”

“I’ve stopped asking.  He’s probably forgotten to chuck his lucky stone in the surf from the point.”

“Deb, don’t s’pose you’ve got any paracetemol in there?”

She holds a finger up then fishes the tea bags out with her fingers, squeezing them against the side of the cup, pours in some milk and plonks the sugar bowl on the table.  Then out of the red first aid box she snaps off two tablets and pushes them across.

“So is he ready yet?”

“I’m not sure.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Sometimes I think he is and then the next minute he couldn’t be further away if he’d wished it.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Oh you’re a sweet love and a rogue, Maxy, you’d be the first on my list of gentlemen helpers.”

“A gentleman you say.  Whahay I think I’ve just pulled my best friend’s Sheila!”

“Max, do you ever think we’ll make it?”

“Course you will, love, it’s written in the stars.  Or is it planets?  Anyway delighted you’d even consider listening to what I’ve got to say.  Ahh, now this is tea how it’s meant to be!  Not like the muck he serves up.”

“I mean I love him and I know he loves me it’s just like I’m not me when I’m with him sometimes.  It’s scary.  It’s like diving off a height into the sea and you’re never quite sure whether you’re going to hit the water right.”

“Christ I never hit the water right.  See this scar here?  Ouch.  Four stitches and a whole lot of wounded pride.  Worst of all your fella was watching and couldn’t stand up straight for a full five minutes he was so busy wetting himself.”

“Max I’m trying to be serious.”

“So-rry.  I’m the one nursing the hangover remember?  Let’s just say you’re a good pair and I’ve never seen him looking so happy before.  He’s totally smitten and even though I don’t see him as much, he’s definitely improved.  You’re good for each other.  He’s a lucky guy.  You’re a lucky girl.  Simple.  Look I’d better get going or the customers’ will be wondering why they can’t get into the shop this morning.  Cheerio and thanks again for the tea.”

*

“You again and so soon!”

“It’s about life, isn’t it?  The question.”

“Yes I reckon it is.”

“It’s about our lives.  I mean me and Deb.”

“If you say so, son.  I don’t know any Deb.  But I can see there’s some fire in you.”

“It’s something to do with the sea as well.  I can feel it.  I’ve always felt it.”

“Yes it is.  No great surprise seeing as you all like surfing and that.”

“No but we see things in our dreams.  About the sea.  We see,” I pause for the right word, “life!  It’s all around us.  It’s colour and shape and texture and smell.”

“And?”

“And I guess I want to know if we are the sea?”

“I had a sense you were one of the quicker ones.  I guess I was right.  What is the sea?”

“I thought I was the one asking the question?”

“Indulge me just this once.”

“Well it’s big, blue, it has currents, it’s water with a lot of salt in…”

“Yes it is.  But what is the sea?”

“What do you mean, what is the sea?”

“I mean the emphasis on the ‘is’.”

The emphasis on the ‘is’?

“Yeah that’s right.”

The mind reading trick again.

“No just an educated guess.”

“Ok, what ‘is’ the sea?  It just is, I guess.  It’s there out to the horizon.   It’s there all the time.  It just is.”

“Okay so back to your question about you and…”

“Deb.”

“That’s her name rightly so.  And what are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what are you made of, what’s your essence, what’s your being?”

“Is this a ying and yang thing?”

“Don’t joke I’m trying to help you but you’ve gotta help yourself here.”

“Okay so cells, blood, bone, skin, memories, DNA, thoughts, feelings.”

“What about chemistry?”

“What about chemistry?”

“What are you made up of?”

“I thought I just said that.”

“No, be more specific.”

“Oh christ you don’t want me to name every bone in the body!”

“No think chemistry.”

“You mean elements and compounds?  I wasn’t paying that much attention in class.  Dully Dulverton didn’t have the fieriest delivery.”

“Come on kid.  You started off talking about the sea.  Stick to the sea.”

“Um…well everyone knows that water is H­2O and I vaguely recall salt has sodium and chloride.”

“You’re being too literal.”

“Too literal?  Okay, so the sea is liquid and is made up of billions of atoms.  We’re not liquid unless you count, blood, saliva and the contents of my stomach after last night’s pub session.”

“I can see you’re not ready.  I thought you were.  Sorry.”

“What do you mean I’m not ready?  What is this?  You’re not going to help me?”

“Okay ask your question then.”

There isn’t a single thought in my head.

“See, there isn’t a single thought in your head.”

Apart from wishing you’d accidentally fall off the edge and fall 200 feet to a certain death on the rocks below.

“Charming.  I never said this was going to be easy.”

“Water!  We’re made of water!”

“And?”

“And what?  And nothing.  That’s it, we’re made of water, so is the sea.”

“Hardly a eureka moment, son, but I can’t deny that what you say is true.”

“So what you’re trying to say is we are the sea.”

“No, not exactly.  Think through the question you want to ask.”

Talking to this guy is like trying to  get blood out of a stone.  Maybe he was a Trappist monk stuck up a mountain in a previous life.

“You mean Yamabushi.  The mountain hermits in Japan or the Zen Buddhists in Tibet, maybe.  And no I haven’t had a previous life.  Just this one.”

“Rich?”

“Deb, this is that man I was talking about earlier.”

“Pleased to meet you miss.  Wondered how long it’d take before you came looking for us.  Seems you’ve arrived at a very opportune moment.”

“Oh, um, I’m not entirely sure about that.”  She holds my hand and looks at the man intently.

He roars with laughter.

“No, don’t worry, I’m not some kind of evil maniac.”  He takes a white hankie out of his pocket and dabs at his eyes before replacing it.

“My names Palaemon but everybody calls me Pal for short.”

“You don’t mean as in the Greek sea god?”

“The very same.  You’ve got yourself one smart lady here.”

“Wasn’t he the one depicted riding dolphins?”

“Yes ma’am.  And protector of sailors and fishermen although these days with forecasting technology there’s less call for that kind of thing, I guess.”

“I know you.  I’ve seen you in my dreams.”

“What?  Deb?”

“It’s him.  He’s the one in the sea except he’s not him, he’s just…” she tails off, “he’s just not like a person.  It’s more he just is the sea.  I can’t explain it.  It’s like a comfort.”

“Yep well you know I try to do my best.”

“You’re not trying to tell me you’re actually the original sea god!”

“Well as a matter of fact I am.  What’s so bizarre about that?”

“But I bet you can’t even speak Greek.  Go on, say something in Greek.”

“Can you speak Greek?”

“Nope.”

“Well how in the hell are you going to know if I’ve said anything in Greek if you can’t speak the language?”

“It really is you, isn’t it?”

“Yes, child, it’s me.”

“And we’re children of the sea.  We spend our whole life in the sea.  We’re surfers.  And you protect surfers.”

“Yes indeed I do.  And if I might say so I think I do a pretty good job.”

“So what are you doing here on land?”

“Oh that is a good question at last.  She’s better at this than you, I see.  I guess I’m allowed to on special occasions.  And it seems to me like this is a special occasion.”

“What special occasion?  What on earth are you two on about?”

“He’s here to see if we’re ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“Ready to be the sea.”

“You what?”

“She’s right, son, you definitely picked a good ‘un.”

I close my eyes.  I’m reaching inside to my very core to make some sense of this.  Deb kisses me on the cheek.

“What did I do, though?”

“It’s not what you did do, it’s what you are doing.”

“And what’s that?”

“You love me.”

She looks at me.  Here eyes are glistening.

“Yes I do.”

“Well ask the question, then.”

Oh no I am not going to propose on a cliff top in front of a complete weirdo who thinks he’s the incarnation of a Greek sea god.  And I am certainly not going to propose to a girl who is seriously weirding me out now.

“No that’s not it.  Just roll with it, son, take a chance.”

Huge relief.  Thank god it’s not the marriage thing!

“Okay so what could I possibly want to ask you?”

And then it strikes me.  The is.  The sea.  This woman.  Christ I’m going to miss that camper van.